Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
