You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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