No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
