on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
