there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
