im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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