C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
