I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
