why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
