At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
