they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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