I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
