Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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