just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
