i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
