it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
