I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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