Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
