what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize