I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
