I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
