Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
