whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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