My nipple is on Facebook.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
