I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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