we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
