just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Boobs are out for the taking
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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