Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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