i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
only you would photoshop your dick
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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