Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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