i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize