i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize