There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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