Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
