I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize