i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
