3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
