Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
