I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
