Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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