I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
