Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
