Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
