Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
