It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
