So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
