i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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