me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
