Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
