drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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