that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
