I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
