Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
