Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
