My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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