Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
