Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
