I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
