I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
