A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize