at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
